Twenty-Six--"My Dream Wedding."

Really?
After the awkward embarrassment that ensued at church yesterday, this would be the topic for today.

I LOVE this random picture I found on google. The bouquets are enormous!

Well. I will be dreadfully honest with you.

I am a wedding fanatic.

I love weddings.

Always have. Always will.

Singing in my friend Natalie's wedding.

I've definitely been in my share of them, and I have loved every minute of it. Its such a special milestone in life, and to be the one who is asked to share it is really special. I love how people go nuts for their weddings, and I watch all of those shows on TLC where people drop an easy $30,000 on their wedding day. I'm not going to lie, I think that's pretty amazing. If I had that kind of cash, I would be super tempted.

In my roomate, Faith's wedding. (Remember, I got the purse?)

But here's the thing. A wedding is simply a wedding. Profound, I know.

There is nothing wrong with the glitz and the glamor, the romance and the tears. If. IF..

If that's not all that it is.

My roomate Faith and her husband Joey on their wedding day. Cutest couple ever! :)

A wedding is not just some emotional ceremony where you get all worked up at the thought of being in love. Not just a day that's "all about the Bride". Its not a day just so the bride gets to wear a fancy dress or dance the night away like any other party. It is all about a contract.

 A contract made with both God and man, that says that these people will no longer do whatever they want, but they will now yield to the desires and hurts of the other person. It is this moment where a man and a woman say, "I have rights, but I am laying them aside for the good of the other person, and I am going to live my life in light of what God wants to do through us instead of just me."

The most amazingly gorgeous bride...Natalie.

One of my jobs is serving at a banquet hall, so I see my share of weddings. I love seeing the different couples and their happiness, and seeing all of those guests and the beauty of the moment and everything, but what I love most of all is when I hear really sweet things said or challenged to the bride and groom. On Saturday, the best man said in his speech that a marriage is about transforming two people into one really amazing person. I guess I never really thought about it like that. I've heard the, "Two shall be one flesh" verse, but I've never thought about it as a whole new person. Its kind of a neat way to look at it.

My parents' wedding in 1969

I am so blessed to have had parents who had an amazing marriage for what was almost forty years. It was such a joy growing up, being secure in the love that they had for each other that simply overflowed onto all of us. I am not married, and I definitely do NOT have all of the answers, being that Daniel and my menial relationship and whatever it is still has its rocky moments. I do know a good marriage when I see one though, and my parents had a good marriage.

Here are my observations.

1. They loved God first, each other second, us third. I was always consciously aware of the fact that my parents loved each other more than they loved me, in fact I remember my mom making it a point to tell me that. Instead of making me jealous or hurt, I remember feeling a great sense of security at the thought.

2. They rarely rarely fought in front of us. Not that they never had an argument, but they tried hard not to display any ill feelings for each other in our presence. This just plays off of my previous observation. They loved  each other, and they wanted us to be certain about that. Not to mention it displays appropriate behavior for how we should treat one another. If we saw our parents arguing all of the time, we would probably have thought it ok to argue amongst ourselves.

3. They talked. A LOT. I think I have mentioned this before when talking about relationships in general, but my parents talked about everything. My dad would come home from work and talk to my mom all about his day. He would also call home from work several times a day, and then again on his way home from work. When he was out of town, the first thing he would do when he got where he was going, was to call my mom.

4. Little things that mattered to my mom, mattered to my dad. They were like-minded. If it was important to our mom that we didn't go to a sleepover, because she knew we would be tired the next day, then my dad would wholeheartedly agree, and vice versa. If my dad felt a certain way about something, my mom backed him up 100%. She would never preface something by saying, "Well I wouldn't mind, but I don't think your dad would want you to..." That would have cause us to choose sides. I never felt like I had to choose between one or the other. That's not to say they agreed on everything. They disagreed in some areas, but only recently have I found that out, and would have never been able to tell you ten years ago.

5. They believed in each others callings. My dad, a successful businessman, quit is well-paying job to go into the ministry. My mama, never wavering, steadfast at his side. I never once heard her complain. Not once. Although, many times I heard her discussing her gladness in his ability to discern God's will for us. My dad believed in my mom's calling to adopt, even when he wasn't sure about it. He allowed her to respond to the calling of God on her own personal heart. God calls women just as often as he calls men and my dad knew that.

So I guess I say all of that because when I step back and think about it, the wedding is just a wedding, but the marriage lasts a lifetime. So yes, I suppose somewhere in my mind I have a "dream wedding", but more than that, I have a "dream marriage." I dont know (especially after yesterday) if I will ever see that day, but I do know that saying "yes" to the right man is far more important than "saying yes to the dress."