Chapter One: "Bonus Baby"

Emily Susan Benzing

The Story
My mom, Bonita Sue Benzing, was an amazing woman. When she was 41, she and my dad decided they would like to have another baby. In the eyes of the world, they had a perfect little family. My dad was just getting into his really successful days as a businessman, making more money than ever before. My parents were just getting out of those loud and crazy little kid years, and entering into the somewhat more peaceful days of having older children. My oldest brother, Nathan, was thirteen, and my two older sisters, Anna and Gretchen, were nine and eleven respectively. For some reason that has not been completely revealed to me, my mother decided to bring a kicking, screaming, chaotic newborn into this serene world. Not to suggest that the home "Pre-me" was a quiet one (that is doubtful, knowing my sisters) but instead that is was a resting point in the career of motherhood.

Family Picture. Back Row: Nate and Gretchen. Front: Dad (Bill) Anna, Mom (Sue) Me. :)

On Thursday, May 11, 1989 I was brought into this world. I was born at a hospital in Green Bay, Wisconsin. It was a healthy delivery and not too lengthy. I applaud my mother, since it had been nine years since the last time she had done that. My sisters and brother waited not-so-patiently in the waiting room, where my mom had given them gifts to be opened for every hour they had to wait. As soon as I was born (and the mess cleaned up, as births tend to be messy things) they were allowed to come in and see me. As my mother held me for the first time she looked at me and said, "Abigail, this is Abigail." The nurse came in and took me away to clean me up a bit. Upon her return, I was handed back to my mother clean and pink, and with significantly lighter hair. "Wait a second, this isn't Abigail," my mom said smiling, "This is Emily." and so I was.

My name, Emily Susan Benzing, is very significant, The Emily part is after my great-grandmother, my dad's mother's mother. Her name was Emily Stuckenburg, but everyone called her Emma. I do not remember her at all, but I have heard that my dad much liked her, and when he was a little boy, he told her her was going to marry her. Sadly, she passed away only a short time after I was born. I think that her passing away is special too though, I get this idea that we are sort of a legacy of those we are named after. I have always loved being named, "Emily" even if it can be overused. It has always brought out the British part of me (my mom's side) and I think it describes me amazingly well.



My Great-Grandma Stuckenburg



The Susan part is especially special to me. I am told that the story goes something like this; the nurse came in to ask what my middle name was, and my mom wasn't set on a middle name, so my dad took the certificate and jotted, "Susan" on the line, naming me after my mother. I cannot tell you how proud I have been of my middle name. I find it to be the most beautiful name in the world, and I always felt that it was this special bond between my mom and I, that no one else could have but me.

My last name, Benzing, is a stout, honest, German name, but to me it holds so much more meaning than that. To me, I am part of a legacy. It is my connection to this enormous web of people who are honest, hard-working, brave, loud, and hilarious. I love my Benzing side so very much, and I am very proud to be a part of it!

For Mom

My mom was nearly 42 when she gave birth to me. Naturally, I am grateful. I am also grateful, however, that it took me a long time to understand that this was not typical for a woman of her age. There were definitely those who were critical against this pregnancy. Those who held their noses in the air and scoffed at what my parents knew that God could accomplish. Still, my parents never allowed me to see it. I can say honestly, from the bottom of my heart, that I have never once, not one day in my life felt as though I was a mistake or an extra burden.

My Mommy, At her baby shower. (I'm the big bump.)

My mom's nickname for me was her "bonus baby". Although I'm sure she invented it when I was newborn, she still called me that always. She told me that I was an extra. She had wanted me so badly, but she was not sure that she would ever get me. When she got me, I was an added bonus that was beyond what she felt she could ever receive. She told me that there were times that she was scared that I would not be healthy or that I would have problems because of her age, but she was ready to face them and she knew that they would all be worth it. May that be a challenge to you, mothers; let your babies know they are gifts.

Personal Feelings
I suppose this is not really directly related to me being born, but I will say that in contrast to my post above, I will be honest and say that I have seen the dark side of older parenting, and that it is not for everyone. To say that I wish my parents had not chosen this, would be a lie.

To say that I have never felt sad or angry though, would also be a lie. To say that there are no hardships for either party, would definitely be un-true. I value the great relationships that I have and have always had with my parents that I know they had to work extra hard at. While most of their friends retired, they still drove around to practices, lessons, sleepovers (heck, they hosted sleepovers!) and Youth Group activities. Was this always easy or fair for them? No. Did they want it any other way? No.There are many times in my past, when I was bitter at God for things that weren't perfect about my life and my family, this of course, was my own immaturity about the issue, and I can tell you that it comes with the territory. Yet through it all, I am very grateful  that the choices were made that were made. God knows what He's doing I guess, funny how that surprises us.







The World

My trip to Hawaii. :)

I was born in 1989 and Ronald Regan was still president. The country was at one of its economical highs, and my family was in on it.

The #1 song, the year I was born was, "Wind Beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler, from the movie, "Beaches." My sisters say that they remember this song as being associated with my birth. This was also a song that my dad had for my mom, and it is featured on the video that he made for her.
You may not think 21 years is that long ago, but the year I was born, gas cost 80 cents a gallon.




Hearts I loved.

Obviously, the only hearts I really knew were those of my immediate family. I have to say though, there are no better people to have known. My older sisters were very excited about having a new baby sister, and although my brother may have contained his excitement a little bit, he was very excited as well. My mom told me that when I was little, my brothers and sisters had a chart that told them who was allowed to get me out of bed, like a little schedule, so that they wouldn't fight over it. Anna used to sneakily hide these specific pajamas and then get them out the night before her morning to get me up so that she could get me up wearing those cuddly jammies.

With my sister Anna.

As you can see, there is no doubt that I was loved. I was primped, and posed, and pressed, and prettied, and all I can say is; its no wonder I am the way I am. I don't think that a day went by without me wearing some sort of dress or bonnet. I am told lovingly by my sisters that I was sort of a cryer as a baby, and they used to sing to me on the top of their lungs to try to calm me down on the way home from church. I may have been a cryer, but I know for a fact that I was also a smiler and a poser, because we have the pictures to prove it. :)

Family Picture. (Note: Nathan's hottie shorts, and how small my mom is considering how small I am!)

I'm linking to Mommy's Piggy Tales.