Four. "My Parents"





Day Four: My Parents.

First of all I need to ask forgiveness in advance for the quality of the pictures. Most of them are from Facebook, and since Facebook decided to have a major meltdown having to do with photo-quality, this is

the best I could do.

So:

Bill and Sue Benzing.

  My mom passed away unexpectedly in March 2008. It changed all of our lives forever. We all loved her so much. I don't really want this post to be about that though. I want it to be a happy post. I have blogged about my mom's death quite a bit, and I just feel sort of done with it for a while.

So.. moving on.

My dad grew up with eight brothers and sisters, in a family that was most often pressed for money, and always laughing. I cannot fully explain to you what the Benzing family means to me. They are my backbone for life. They make up that circle of people that I know would be there for me in the toughest situations, in fact they were there for me in the toughest situation to date. They laugh you through it. I cannot even fathom what that dark time would have been like (and continue to be) for us, if my Dad's sweet family had not been there all the way through it.

holding my brother.

My dad was the exact middle of nine. To me that makes so much sense. He is that kind of person that adapts himself to any and every situation. Sure, he can dress up and go to a formal dinner, but he is just as comfortable working outside or watching TV. He is the "funny guy" but yet also full of wisdom and advice.

As dad's go, he is exceptionally nice to the boys who come to prey upon his four daughters. Now, my dad may look intimidating, which probably ignites a good, healthy fear, but I never felt nervous about what my dad would say to Daniel, because I knew he would be nothing but courteous. I mean, every teenage boy is nervous out of their mind anyway, but if anyone can put their minds at ease a teeny bit, its my dad. Additionally, my dad wanted to be their friend. He would never leave it at an introduction, he would engage them in conversation and really try to get to know the kid. I mean, how many dads actually do that (over and over and over)? Daniel has said many times that my dad is a great friend to him, and that means so much to me!

At my sister Anna's wedding.

Have you ever seen Pride and Prejudice? Either, the old or the new? Mr. Bennett. My dad is a great Mr. Bennett. Now, I will be quick to say that my mother was nothing at all like Mrs. Bennett, but there were times when those four daughters could tend to be that way. The drama, tears, and hormones of all of us were a doubtless chaos in our home, but my dad has always put up with it well, probably due to the fact that his own sisters were such a big part of his life. Instead of joking that my brother was "his only pal" or that he was "outnumbered," he mostly just joked about his own luck, and how proud of all of his beautiful girls he was.
My dad always treated my mom so well. He is the king of gifts. Honestly, the man loves to shop. He greatly enjoyed buying jewelry, clothing, and housewares for my mom, and honestly, she was the best gift receiver (next to Mercedes...haha). My favorite thing was when he would randomly be like, "I think we'll go out for supper tonight." I mean, eating out wasn't really foreign to us, but randomly like that usually meant nicer, and so we would go dress up a bit and my mom would go get ready and everything, and I just remember it felt so special. I'm sure my mom enjoyed it too. He was always the savior of the situation. Like if my mom was greatly distressed, he could usually ease the situation. He was that guiding hand that kept her from taking on to much.

one of my favorite wedding pictures of theirs! :)

My mom grew up in a moderate sized family with three sisters, and then much later, a brother.  Unlike my dad, she lived right in the up and coming city of Cincinnati. She was a total city girl. She went to a nice high school filled with mostly wealthy students, and many of them were Jewish, which began her fascination with Jewish culture. My mom went to college, which was a relatively newer thing at that time. She decided she wanted to be a teacher. At some point while she was in community college, she met my dad, and they hung out with a lot of the same people. One Sunday, he wrote her a note in church to ask her out and passed it down the row to her, but (he is known for his sloppy handwriting) she couldn't read the signature and thought it was from another guy that she disliked, so she didn't reply. Luckily my dad was persistent, and when she found out it was from him, she excepted. They started dating. After her second year at community college, she decided to go to Bob Jones University in South Carolina.

A really cute picture of my mama.

Her stories of BJU will absolutely crack you up. Needless to say she pretty much hated it. It was one thing my mom and I had in common, leaving boyfriends for college. She totally understood. I remember her saying, "I cant drive you back and forth every weekend." and I totally used it..."What if you knew there was a way to get home to dad when you were at BJU?" "OK, I'll really really try." :) She told me that he used to write her letters where the whole page was filled with "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU." or "I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISSYOU." She said it made her miserable. In the days before cell-phones, I can't imagine! Anyway, she only lasted there a semester. She continued her education at the University of Cincinnati where she ended up getting her Elementary Education degree.



eating supper with the three older kids.



My mom taught school for a while, but eventually she did what she really wanted to do. Became a full-time mom and wife. She home schooled all of us all the way through, except for sweet Abby which I sort of half way finished her up in through her last year. My mom really was always such a fun mom. She never pushed mundane tasks on us, and I always felt like there was plenty enough time to play.



me with my mom, probably 7th grade.

Truthfully my parents had the best (of any I know of) balance of camaraderie and distance. They never probed us for information about our private lives although it would have been well within their jurisdiction to do so, they simply trusted the Holy Spirit to do His work in our individual hearts. Obviously they would step in on a big issue, but as for the little things, they often let us have our space. For instance dating. I was well aware of the fact that they did not approve of anything less than dating to the ends of marriage, yet they did not forbid dating in high school (thank goodness!). So it left us up with the choice. The choice to weigh out our own hearts and to process the information that they had given us. We weren't simply robots doing what we were told, we were human beings with the ability to choose right and wrong. Sometimes we got hurt, but they were always there to pick us up, and never ever ever said, "I told you so." My mom comforted me many a night over a boy that just wasn't working out. She made clear her view of the matter, but did not push it. Had she pushed it, I probably would have only run faster to him, but since she considered the heart of a teenage girl, I was willing to give it up, because I felt I had made the decision entirely on my own. The funny thing is, at the time I thought my parents were so strict, but now I just realize that they were actually pretty fair.

my parents.

I have mentioned this before, but one of the greatest conversations I ever had with my mom concerned Daniel. She loved him. Like loved him. Like the second-son-she-never-had sort of a thing. I knew she loved him and I was happy about it, but sometimes it gave me this immense feeling of pressure. Until she told me that I was free. She was super straightforward and just like, "I love Daniel and I think you guys are sweet together, but it wouldn't bother me at all if tomorrow you decided he wasn't what God wanted for you." whew. Load off of my mind! So then I felt the freedom to love him rather than the pressure to love him, if that makes sense.

wedding photo.

In conclusion, I love my parents. I love them for all of the sacrifices they made for my happiness, for all of the hours spent going over multiplication tables, the 30+ years my dad has now spent filling and hiding Easter eggs, the heroic gestures to save a dwindling bank account, the encouraging words, the dreams for each of us, the prayers on our behalf, the meals shared, the holidays enjoyed, the hugs, kisses, moments, tears, and joys. I am so thankful God chose me for them and them for me.

Dancing. My dad being silly, obviously.

If, and its a doubtful if, my mom could somehow see this; I hope she smiles.