Chapter Seven--There's No Place Like Home.

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Planting Daffodil bulbs.

The Story
Ok so age ten. Ten was the dawning of the age of double digits, and as such it was my chance to have another big party! This time I wanted a Hawaiian themed party. If there were ever any better party planners than my mother and sisters, then please show them to me. They always came up with the most outstandingly creative ideas. I call them the "Party Masters". No one else is so creative or fun! In about ten years when I'm planning my kids' birthdays, I'm definitely gonna give them a ring. I can remember the food table like it was yesterday (here I am again, remembering the food). We had pineapple and those little party wieners, and probably a yummy cake with Whipped Cream frosting (my mom's recipe, which you can find here.). Also on the food table were the awesome party favors, which were these big frosted plastic margarita (don't worry, we only had lemonade) glasses in all bright colors (which only added to the festivity of the table). I remember Gretchen, Anna, and Misty (Shea's big sister) decorating that table and making it look fabulous. They put up this bright pink parasol in one corner and did things with flower leis, and if I remember right someone even brought a Ukulele and they just made it look so magical. I remember when I came down and saw it I was so excited! Being born in May the weather is typically lovely and it was that day too. My mom had planned this super fab craft where we all made hula skirts using hemp. I remember everyone brought their swimsuits so that they could wear their lovely creations. Years later, several of my friends told me they still had their hula skirts from that party! It was a great party day and I really think everyone had a great time.

10th Birthday clan.

So here we were, 1999. My dad was trying to decide what to do about his job. I remember my parents constantly talking about it. Our house here would not sell, nor could my parents find a house that they wanted in N.Carolina. I cannot tell you how many houses my parents looked at (or dragged Abby and I along to look at), but they were certain that they had not yet found the right one. Then I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was sitting on that little apartment couch next to my mom doing math (I honestly think it was multiplication word problems, which would make sense why my mom was next to me), and my dad walked in the front door. We were shocked to see him early, and he calmly explained that he had quit his job and we were moving back home for good. All of the adventures and vacations and "sleepovers" and "my own rooms" in the world could not compare with the joy I felt for returning home. I do not know all of what was behind my dad's decision. At the age of ten, you don't really understand those things, but I knew he felt like his job didn't provide him with enough work. My dad is a hard-working, diligent person, and he likes to work. Having a job wasn't enough, he wanted to be doing something. He felt like the house issue was just another sign that God didn't have this plan for us. Right after he quit, his job consisted of working as the administrator at our church. I look back tearfully, yet thankfully, thinking how very very different my life would have been had we moved.

For Mom
The differences in salary between these two jobs is undeniably different. My mother dealt with it beautifully and seamlessly. It must have been a difficult transition for her, but she never wavered under our watchful eye. We had to make several adjustments for this new lifestyle. I remember my mom taking off her acrylic nails, which she had gotten done diligently bi-weekly up until that point. Another thing I remember was my mom doing my dad's ironing, whereas before he had always sent his shirts to the dry-cleaners. She started shopping at Aldi and Goodwill. She was the typical ministry wife! Up until that point, I had never really though about how much things cost, or really cared one way or the other, but then I started realizing what it meant to make sacrifices for the family as a whole. My mom started making a weekly budget for herself  (if she had one before, I never knew) and it even included things like "Haircuts" and "Eating out". She stuck to that budget like glue. I remember Abby and I begging to go out to eat, (we were used to going all of the time!) and her looking
through her little pouches. "Nope, there's no money in the eating out pocket." she's say, and we would glumly go home for a sandwich. Another thing she did though, was start Abby and I on our own budget. We had three pockets; "Giving", "Saving" , and "Spending". She would give us an allowance, and then we would be responsible for paying for certain things. Essentially, she would pay for bare necessities, and then anything else we would buy. The allowance got bigger (and more sections were added) when we got older, and so did our responsibilities with the money. When I was in high school, I was responsible for paying for any Youth Group activities, (including Camp and Missions Trips) and I was even responsible for my own clothes. I remember the talk my mom had with me, when she gave me the clothes money, "So, you can go and spend all of this if you want. Go ahead and buy whatever clothes you want. Remember though, when winter comes around and you need a new coat, you'll be wishing you hadn't spent it all." Thus I learned (for the most part.) how to be wise with money.



Personal Feelings
At ten, which would have been my fifth grade year, I remember everyone was going all Junior High on me. Almost all of my friends were in the grade above me, and the talk was of Junior High and all that that meant. It meant growing up, and become one step closer to a teenager, to many of them that was an exciting prospect, but not for me. I was scared. I wasn't ready to shed my little girl skin and become a grown-up. Maybe I'm still not really ready. I liked being a kid and I was never ready to give that up. When I was in the fifth grade I had the privilege of being in a great Sunday School class taught by a couple who really had a heart for young people. Mr and Mrs. Starr challenged us to think for ourselves and even question what we had been taught. They told us to look up verses in the Bible to see if they really matched up with what we were being taught. I had never thought about that before. I had always just accepted what I was told as truth, and never looked into it for myself. This is so important for kids, especially at that age, that they are taught to think for themselves! Someday, they'll have to, and if they have no clue where to start, they might reject all that they've even been taught, just because they disagree with one or two things.

The World
My fifth grade year I returned to the stage in the musical. "The Christmas Post" done by our church Youth Group. I was only an extra but I remember having so much fun. Not only was it fun to sing on stage, but just to be a part of something that was with the older kids that I so looked up to. I cannot tell you how we adored those girls who were already in high school. We seriously could not find a fault in them. Looking back, its amazing that I didn't grow up faster than I did. Its such a risk at those in between ages. I wanted to be like those other girls, but I think my home life, and influence of other good friends kept me young for as long as I needed to be. I definitely was still young. I played Barbies, dolls, house. Pretty much anything with Abby at my side.




Hearts I Loved.
I remember that at this age, peers seemed to become more and more important to me. I looked to others for approval, and I wanted to be liked by everyone. I remember this was the first time I was ever even the slightest bit outspoken about liking a boy. We were at some activity for our Sunday School class and we were playing a game that involved having a partner. For the first time I didn't just run to Shea, but whispered to several of my girlfriends that I wanted this one boy to be my partner. They were all giggly about it, and it was the big deal of the evening to try to see who he would ask to be his partner in the game. Somehow, he must have found out that we were waiting to see, and he also found out that several of the girls liked him. Then, he said the words I will never forget; "Ok, whoever likes me, come over here and stand in a line and I'll pick the one I want to be partners with." I was livid. There was no way on this earth that I was going to humiliate myself my standing in line to see who he would pick. No boy on this planet was worth that. I remember being like, "Never mind." and briskly walking away.