Mercedes,

Mercedes. This was taken last fall actually, but it was too sweet for me not to put up.

Mercedes starts preschool Monday, so  yesterday was my last full day with her (until hopefully next summer!). I cannot express to you the sadness that I feel at the thought of not seeing her everyday, but I am glad for her as well, because I know she will meet some great friends, and have a lot of fun.

One way that Abby and I like to describe Mercedes is half teenager, half grown man. The reason for this is because she is half my dad and half us, (and of course there is a whole lot of Nathan and a whole lot of Janet in her too). As you can imagine, it is quite a hilarious combination. She says things like, "Are you pullin' my leg?" and then turns around and starts singing a Lady Gaga song word for word (I have no idea where she got that from). As you may imagine, she keeps us laughing pretty hard most of the time. Not a boring day goes by with her in the house.

I remember the first night I watched her was the night my mom had her stroke. We sang three songs before naptime that my mom always sang to her; Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Silent Night, and Jesus Loves Me. Today, over a year and a half later, she asked me to sing those very same songs. Recently-ish I sang one of them in an operatic voice just to be silly, and she LOVED it. So now everyday she asks for me to "sing them weird" and I oblige, all except for Jesus Loves Me, which out of respect, we sing as pretty as we can. Naptime is sort of my favorite time with her, and I know that sounds lazy, but I don't mean while she's sleeping, I mean the actual putting to bed part. Its like the time that its just the two of us, and its special, and she is a sweetie pie. (Sidenote: she used to like Abby to put her to bed better, but has since changed to me..even over my dad, which is a HUGE accomplishment...;) )

When you tell her you love her, she ALWAYS says that she loves you too. I never noticed that when we say it, we say it quickly so that it comes out sounding more like, "I lova too." Just the other day she asked me, "Hey Emily, what does 'Lova Too' mean?" Her affections are so aptly given. She loves hugs, and she loves to give hugs. She has never grown out of her cuddle-bug stage. Even at the learning to walk age, when most kids want to get down and play, she would just sit on our laps. I have to boast that I was the first to put ponies in her hair, and if I can figure out how, I will post a picture. I love fixing her hair and dressing her up, I always think if I never have a girl, than at least I had Cede to makeover. She asks me for lipstick, and blush, and anything else she sees us putting on. :)

I cannot tell you the endless amounts of memories I have made with this child. There are just too many to go through them all. She has taught me so many things about myself. Things that I never imagined one three (and now four) year old little girl could teach me. She has taught me that I am selfish, that I am prideful, that I can get angry too easily, and many other things. I remember one time when she was really small before I had starting watching her full time, she came into my room with a really sad look on her face. I asked her what was wrong, and she pointed to a picture of Jesus dying on the cross in a book she was carrying. "He's crying." she said. She was so concerned for him, and she pointed to his thorns in his hands, "Ouch." It was such a sweet moment, and I was challenged to think on my savior with such love and pity.

Mercedes with Dad on Father's Day this year.

I cannot write a post about Mercedes without mentioning the great relationship she has with my dad. He has had such a huge influence on her life, and they are like two peas in a pod. Nearly everyday when she wakes up from her nap, she asks when he's coming home, and when he gets there she shouts, "Grandad's home!" I know that my mom would be so happy to know that Cede has been such a great comfort to my dad. She has brought us all a lot of joy at a time when joy was somewhat scarce.

I love her so much, and I cannot wait to see the woman that she becomes. I know that I will miss her more than I can ever express in one blog post. I had no idea on that day four years ago, how much I was going to love her.

Mercedes on her fourth birthday.