Autumn.

I used to be such a reflective person. I remember at 13 or 14, I would go outside just to think and imagine. I remember loving to be alone (perhaps that comes from being a middle child in a big family). In the fall, this seemed to be so much more prevalent. I was forever taking my journal outside and writing and just reveling in nature and its beauty. Lately, I have felt this call to return to that sort of more introverted self. Now, don't get me wrong, with my friends and people that I have known for a while, I am still my bubbly talkative self, but to strangers, classmates, and around home I have noticed I have become quite a bit more pensive. Part of that comes from lack of being around people at all. Where at one time I might have run up to Abby's room to talk to her when I got home from school, I can no longer do that. Also, having Mercedes around used to force me to be drawn out and playful. I do not mind this new mood, especially on days where the weather is crisp and nostalgic (please tell me you know what I mean, weather can most definitely feel nostalgic).

I almost feel as though  I have sort of "refound" some of the creativity that I maybe lost. I have been snooping around my old storage closet and I found over 20 journals from my past and 7 unfinished novels that I began. These novels were mostly cheesy and funny, just fantasies of a young teenage girl, but still I am considering finishing them (or 1 or 2 of them) just so that they are finished. I'm feeling that little author in me calling my name back to pick up a pen and continue the unfortunate yet romantic lives of Elisabeth, Emily, Pacifica, Rose, Libby, and Celene. Just reading those names puts a little joy in my heart. I was so passionate about my characters, and they were nearly always based on true people and events in my life.

I suppose I have always been fascinated with the everyday human life (Ahem..Psychology major). My life was always interesting to me (even when it wasn't probably very interesting to most people); which is why I kept so many journals. I remember thinking that someday those journals would be available for all of the public to see, and I figured that my little novels would one day be published. I laugh to think about that now, but I'm also glad that I thought that way. I surely know that I find them interesting, and Daniel loves to see where he enters the scene! ;)

Many of my journals were prayer journals and so it is amazing to me the record of Gods love and provision in my life! I prayed so hard for our new pastor to have children that I could connect with and get along with. I had no idea that they would become some of my best friends, and that I would be dating one of them for over 3 years! It almost gives me chills! The journaling trait was inherited by my mother. I specifically remember her using prayer journals when I was a little kid, and I have used one ever since I started getting regular in my personal devotions.

Sorry that this post was all over... just some thoughts that were running through my mind today. :)