After Baby: Putting Yourself Back Together.

Putting yourself back together after baby can be really really difficult. 

Some of us struggle with wrapping our heads around this giant responsibility that has now changed our lives forever.

Others of us struggle with depression or anxiety. The hormonal swings of giving birth take a toll on the mental stability of an otherwise very healthy person.

Still others look down and see more skin and wrinkles than they had nine months ago. Scars from growing a watermelon sized balloon in a cantaloupe sized belly. 

But I think most of us... are all of the above.

Here are a few tips that I learned about how to put yourself back together. 

1. Eat. And eat good.

We’re so very focused on what baby is eating that we neglect to think about what kind of fuel we’re giving our own bodies. I hate diets, I always have—but think good, nutritious, and nourishing food. If your mind is thinking and caring about those things, your body will follow. At first I thought the way to lose my baby fat was to not eat, or at least to eat less. But eating less not only messes with your metabolism as it tries to rebound after pregnancy; it also causes your mental and physical stamina to waver. Let’s face it—you can’t be the best mom you can be if you’re hangry all the time. 

2. Take care of the outside too.

It seems impossible to make sure you’re getting regular hair cuts, pedicures, and working out consistently—but even just doing those things on a semi-regular basis will make a big difference in morale. When I first had Rosalie, one of the things I promised myself is that I would take a shower every day. Sometimes that means not doing dishes, or waiting until my husband is home—but a shower changes my outlook on myself and really on my entire day. Don’t neglect the little things that make you, you. 

3. Go out with your girlfriends.

Maybe not every week, but make it happen. I remember th first time I went out with my friends after the baby was born—it was like I really truly felt like myself again. It helps that most of my girlfriends don’t have little babies so we didn’t just sit and talk about baby stuff the whole time, and I needed that—but even if your girlfriends are in that same stage of life, maybe try going an hour or two talking about things besides just baby. 

4. Make time for your SO.

Hardest one. And I think it’s because they live with you so it feels like you kind of are spending time together even when you’re really not. I had these grand visions of weekly date nights for Daniel and I, but honestly his schedule at work is just too insane for that. We do get to go out alone occasionally but more of our dates are after bedtime. We play board games, watch movies, just talk and joke with each other, and sometimes get more creative and I actually plan a themed date night for us. I love the Dating Divas website, as they have tons of fun ideas for at-home date nights. We also have a no cell phone policy for the first hour after he gets home from work. We usually spend that time eating supper and putting the baby to bed as a family. It’s nice to know that we will have some uninterrupted conversations and family time at the end of our day. 

5. Surround yourself with a good community.

This is different than just your girlfriends. You need moms with similar experiences, worldviews, and even parenting styles that you can go to and ask for advice and help. A church small group can be a great resource for this, as well as other close family. Sometimes for me this means reaching out to people I maybe wasn’t as close to in the past because now our lives have a lot in common. It doesn’t really matter who it is as long as you have someone you can go to for help during the tough times. 

I have adopted these 5 things as best I could during these last 7 months, and they have made all the difference in the world as far as feeling like myself again. There's a new normal in town and its a giant roller coaster--but soon enough, that roller coaster will feel like home.