One year.

Well, life flies by, doesn't it?

It has been one year since I said, "I do" to my best friend in the world. I'd like to take this chance to reflect, while it is still fresh in my mind...

I have learned so much in one year. I learned that the first year was hard. The first year was fun. It was crazy, and beautiful and interesting. It made me question who I am. It made me question who he is. It made me realize that we are both amazing creatures of God. I learned that a husband can be a wonderful, faithful leader. I learned that I can be a helpful, respectful wife. I learned that neither of those two are guaranteed

There are three things that sum up most of the learning that I have done.

1. Be selfless. Most, if not all of our petty arguments or disagreements can be summed up in one word: pride. My rights are being violated, my love is being taken for granted, my needs aren't being met. Me, me, me. When you branch out away from you? A beautiful thing happens. Your focus turns away from you, and onto your husband. This is never easy, but it is always worth it.

2. Be forgiving. I thought I knew my husband inside and out. For the most part, I did. But there will always be times that a heart is heavy, that the one you love most doesn't live up to his part of the bargain. Before we were married, there was always the option of walking away, of throwing up my hands and saying "I'm done." When that option is removed; forgiveness takes on a whole new meaning. Giving someone a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth chance isn't easy. Yet again I say, It is worth it.

3. Be focused. I strongly hope that someone encourages you to talk about your goals as a couple before you tie your knot. Having those goals to keep you in focus will help you during those tough times in your marriage. Daniel and I have been through some crazy highs; BIG job promotion! and some devastating lows: loss of job for both of us, and some really close family moving away. We have had plenty of opportunity to lose focus. When he was making more money it was hard to keep our focus away from the material, the physical. When he lost his job it was hard not to dwell on our insecurities. From the beginning our focus has been threefold; the success of our spiritual walk with Christ, the success of our marriage, and the success of our ministry. In that order. If you keep your focus, you will succeed.

I cannot go on pretending that it was of any merit of my own that our first year has been so amazing. The times where God slipped out of his rightful place were, quite honestly, very rocky. I can speak for the both of us when I say that we are blessed to have the greatest support system and also some phenomenal role models.

We were so wonderfully prepared. Our premarital counseling was wonderful. It was almost like 20 questions. Essentially it was just long conversations about anything and everything so that we knew all we could about one another.

We have been wonderfully supported. People have prayed for us, loved us, given to us, and encouraged us. We are surrounded by a lovely church body, and some amazing family.

We are putting ourselves in positions to grow. I am just finishing up a Bible study by Linda Dillow. What is it like to be married to me? Well now, that is a dangerous question. I have had a wonderful growing experience through this book, and it has truly enriched my life to be able to discuss these issues with older, wiser women. We are also heavily involved in the ministries of our church, and have set aside special days to spend bonding and growing as a couple.

So that's what I've learned. Here's to forever! ;)